Every sober woman is fiercely committed to her beliefs and values and she doesn’t care what people think of her and has a sense of peace and quietness in her mind.
I can see why you would think that because from the place of active addiction or early sobriety, many women with some time appear this way.
It’s like they have some kind of super power! #WonderWoman
But just because you get and stay sober doesn’t mean you are serene, or have unwavering confidence and self-worth.
Sobriety is only the beginning.
Staying sober is a huge challenge, one that takes a ton of energy, discipline, faith, steps, connection and will. Your life does get better, you feel better, you have more clarity.
You earn back trust from friends and family, you start to take care of yourself a little more, you have hope.
Then comes the acid test……can you remain sober under any and ALL conditions…..
…..You are challenged by toxic relationships, people you once cared about but now have deep hurt, regret and anger towards.
…..You struggle with difficult emotions like fear, anger and sadness. You might have deep wounds that leave you with negative beliefs about your self and you can’t shake the.
…..Your body has taken a beating, you may be struggling with disease or pain directly related to your addiction or facing new challenges.
…..You can’t sleep at night because the anxiety that comes on with racing thoughts, fear of the future, regret and shame swirl around in your head for hours.
…..You may feel disconnected, you’ve lost friends along the way and struggle in familial relationships, you don’t’ really know where you belong
“The work” for you now is that of emotional sobriety.
You aren’t fighting the drink/drug every day but you lack self-worth, question your beliefs, do not intuitively know how to handle difficult situations and you struggle with limiting beliefs from the stories you tell yourself.
Becoming a confident sober woman beyond sobriety means loving yourself.
It means having relationships with healthy boundaries and built on trust and tolerance and not gossip. It’s knowing your heart’s truest desires and going with them despite what’s happening around you.
A confident sober woman can admit when she is wrong.
She respects the opinions of others and takes care of her body. She belongs to herself. She loves herself.
This is the journey of “the work”. This self-discovery process is unique for us, we are more sensitive with complicated histories.
What will your life be like when you have confidence like that?
When you know who you are, what you believe in, when you can validate yourself, when you live true joy?
What will it feel like?
For me it feels like joy, that internal peace despite everything going on around me. I know I am ok.
The first thing you do is eliminate the negative thinking patterns that were created due to past trauma and life experiences.
You learn how to recognize
You can learn more about the process with the 5 Ways To Change Your Negative Thinking guide.
Even with all “the work” I know I still have to pay my bills, parent my children, communicate with husband, and deal with emergencies.
But there is freedom today because I know I can handle it.
And that is the greatest freedom in the world.
You have done a lot of work already. And if you find yourself wanting more, or feeling stuck no worries, there is a solution.
It’s your brain and body telling you it’s time for more growth.
So lean into that. Good coaching, therapy, complementary treatments will all support you.
That’s exactly what I did, and now its my greatest pleasure to give that back to sober ladies who want to be Confident Sober Women.