I show sober women how to build the confidence they need to pursue their desires beyond recovery.
It’s easier than you think to be a fraud.
I have watched and listened to just about everything I could get my hands on about Elizabeth Holmes, the 20-something Stanford dropout and former CEO of Theranos…
…the company she created to change the medical world of blood testing using a single drop of blood.
No doubt she was brilliant, incredibly hard-working and driven she ran circles around adults in her field as a teenager.
And her idea was amazing, life-changing even.
But her invention never quite worked as it was supposed to.
There was so much potential, and that (plus money) is what sent Elizabeth down the path of passion toward her biggest goal. She was laser focused.
However, her vision got cloudy over time.
In the beginning, it was easy to brush things off like the prototype wasn’t ready because she believed it would work, and frankly maybe it would have someday.
But Elizabeth let her drive to be a millionaire and her passion to change the medical field become her worst enemy.
She accepted money, prestige and opportunities when her product literally didn’t work. Her power to convince people to invest in her was outstanding.
Elizabeth truly believed in what she was doing. Almost as though she was living in an alternate reality, outside herself.
We know this isn’t actually hard to do right? How many times have you followed along with something, bought a product or maintained a relationship you knew wasn’t quite right.
Even if it seemed fine at first, there were clues along the way that told you something was off. There were little white lies that you brushed off as nothing, promises you believed because you wanted so badly for them to be true.
How easy was it for you to become a fraud?
In active addiction, it isn’t hard to find examples of this at all. However, in stable recovery, these incidents might be more subtle. They sneak in without us really noticing until we are far down the path.
Like Elizabeth, our intentions and passions started out as good. Amazing even, and they clouded our vision so much along the way it was difficult to separate out the truth from reality.
Maybe you got involved in a business venture that seemed like the golden ticket to your financial freedom and you brought others along with you.
In time, and after using all your resources you discovered it wasn’t what you thought at all despite all the warning signs, yet you carried on.
Or a knight in shining armor danced his way into your life and swept you off your feet after only two months together, he wants to get married, have kids, move to the burbs.
And you know in your heart you were born to be a child-free city girl. But you carry on with him because he’s great, allowing him to believe you are in alignment with his desires figuring it will all work out in the end.
Perhaps in raising your kids you present yourself as a well-put-together, smart, successful, mom doing all the right things for everyone around you including guiding your children on the path of least resistance, shielding them from hurt or failure. All the while maintaining your leave-it-to-beaver cover story of perfection.
When those kids could have really benefitted from knowing your truth. From hearing stories about your pain, about addiction and being allowed to experience the ugly parts of life with your support.
We are all capable of being frauds. Because it’s not hard.
What is a challenge is living in your truth. Because first you have to discover that truth, and then work your buns off to forge a new path with it. And that means being honest with yourself and then the world.
Let’s not kid ourselves, most of us don’t really want to do that.
That’s why the phrase “If it was easy everyone would do it” is so applicable to our lives. Because of all the crap we have to do every day just to stay on the path of truth is HARD!
Do a quick inventory right now. Where are you being a fraud in your life? Where are you presenting yourself as something and then behind closed doors, living a different way?
Where would there be freedom if the lies were no longer believed, if you showed up fully in your truth?
We see stories like Elizabeth Holmes, or Bernie Madoff or the latest Sam Bankman-Fried who were all once the golden children in their field, and we are shocked when the truth comes out. We gasp and hit our knees in disbelief about the perils of dishonesty, deceit and stolen futures.
But they are all humans who started off as passionate, hard-working individuals following a dream. Along the way they believed the lies they told themselves. And then hurt a lot of people.
When you stop living in lies you get reacquainted with the power of making your own choices. The power of being vulnerable.
The power of living in your truth. What lies do you believe about yourself today?
What are you willing to do to avoid being a fraud?
P.S. Want to uncover the truth about the lies you believe? That is exactly what I help women do in the Sober Freedom Transformation. We work 1:1 together in an individualized way to identify your specific challenges and make a plan to solve them. Let’s talk it out together.
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