Hip Hop, Girl Rappers and Negative Thoughts
Last year I tried something new. And not the dip my toe in, skim the surface kind of new, nope this girl went all in.
I took an adult hip hop class! Eek!
I brought my full high strung, can’t stop talking nervous energy with me. Thank you Raise The Barre for taking the hit!
Little known fact about me, I love hip hop music.
Maybe that’s surprising to hear but its so fun, and I am an enneagram 7 after all so I’m all about fun. 🙃
I love to dance at home and the invention of the Tik Tok app took me to a new level. #Momsoftiktokover40
Of course there is bad language, sexual innuendos and glorification of substance use however this isn’t exclusive to hip hop.
If you ever listen to country music you know what I mean.
But last year, maybe it was the quarantine, intense anger and disappointment at our school system or excessive free time from not driving 600 miles a week to school and sports practices, but something made me go hmm.
The girl rappers are kind of nasty.
The guys are too, but these women have really taken girl power and feminism to a whole new level.
Admittedly I am not a hip hop analyst. Don’t come at me with the history.
As sober women who are focused on understanding our thinking patterns and eliminating negative thought patterns…
…the messages we expose ourselves to on a regular basis from media are important. They matter.
It’s not the sex talk for me, we are sexual beings after all and sexuality expressed in music is not new. It’s the money talk. Money for sex.
It’s the distorted notion that as a woman you can trade sex for money and get power, this is how you get respect, how you have a relationship. Really?
The message from the girl rappers is you want me, you pay me. Literally.
Here are some of the lyrics they are explicit just FYI…
…”Paid my tuition just to kiss me on my WAP”(look it up if you don’t know), “I’ll let him get what he want, he buy me Yves Saint Laurent” Cardi B
…”Don’t go broke or this pussy going single”, City Girls
…”I want money so I’ll F you pay me”, Flo Milli
…”He know he giving his money to Megan, He know it’s very expensive to date me” Megan The Stallion
Trust me I could go on but I’ll spare you and I need space to make my point.
Active addiction took a ton away from us, most especially our esteem, confidence, integrity and our power. We were slaves to the substance.
In recovery we get to have power
- By finding our voice to speak up for ourselves
- By educating ourselves or growing professionally
- By making our own money, buying a home, a car, whatever we want
- By building relationships based on mutual trust and respect
Have you ever had a partner tell you how sexy it is when you take charge, make decisions, make goals for yourself, try something new (like a dance class)?
And the way you speak to yourself is the key to this power. One of my favorite books about this is The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest. I listened to it on Audible and it is powerful.
I LOVE audiobooks because I can listen while I’m driving, doing dishes or out for my walk.
If you aren’t part of Audible definitely give it a try. You get one free credit a month and access to so much good content. A lot of which is free.
Whether hip hop music is your jam or not its no matter. But pay attention to the images, music and media you are consuming.
What are the messages you are absorbing? We often brush it off like it doesn’t affect us. I disagree.
We can still listen and watch, I just believe doing so with a discerning ear is important and checking in with yourself occasionally about how it affects you.
This is what I’ve been sharing about on the Confident Sober Women Podcast episode this month AND…
…the exact work we do in the Sober Freedom Inner Circle group coaching program.
Your thoughts matter to building a life you don’t want to escape from in recovery.
XO,
Shelby
