I show sober women how to build the confidence they need to pursue their desires beyond recovery.
Being able to reframe a situation with new perspective allows you experience the mind shift necessary to move you out of negativity and into the light. It also looks procrastination right in the face and smiles while you walk towards your goals.
We know that action is created by the thoughts, either conscious or unconscious that directly proceed it. This means that negative thoughts most likely lead to negative actions and positive thoughts to positive actions.
This means that your mindset is by far you most powerful tool and indicator for success or failure.
Here are the top 5 ways to shift your mind to build self-confidence in recovery:
We know that life is unpredictable. We can’t possibly know how things will go every single day even with the best laid plans. As they say life happens. You must be able to accept that sometimes things will not go as plans. Learning to go with the flow and be flexible will keep you on course toward your goals and prevent you from beating yourself up. Know that many things are out of our control but you are in control of your responses to them.
2. Take personal responsibility for your life.
You are the master of your life no one else. No one is coming to save you. You and you alone are responsible for what happens in your life. You move from “I don’t have a choice” to “I always have a choice”. Sometimes we make plans and things do not go accordingly. Or people hurt us.
It is a spiritual axiom that when we are disturbed there is something wrong with us. We must avoid pointing the finger to others when we are hurt or angry or things don’t go our way. Instead do a quick personal inventory asking yourself what was my part in this situation? How could I have done things differently and what can I do now to accept it.
3. Celebrate the small wins.
Very often we make plans for change or goals for ourselves and they are longer term. Break them down into small pieces along the way to the bigger goal so you can celebrate each little win. For example, if you have a long term goal of getting healthier and that includes being more fit and loosing weight, look for the baby steps along the way and map them out so you can celebrate them.
Make a plan to drink a gallon of water every day, move your body for at least 20 minutes a day and write at least three things you are grateful for daily. Put them on a sticky note or wipe board so you can check them off each day!
4. Have joy like a toddler
Children find incredible joy in exploring the world around them. When you look at things through the lens of a child you remove any sense of arrogance you once had. You take away the stronghold, the restriction. Instead of being afraid to try something new because you know the chances of failure, instead you consider the possibility and the results of success.
Don’t be afraid to let loose a little, to experiment. One of the keys to success is that you can’t possible know everything there is to know, therefore the only viable option is to embrace learning.
5. Watch your mouth.
It’s time to take a good look at the words that come out of your mouth and the ones you use in your head. Your language matters. Do you use empowering or destructive language? Of course this matters when we are speaking to other people but is even more important with our internal dialogue.
So often our self talk slants negative and even if it is subtle can gently cut us down. Be sure to use positive instead of negative language meaning focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t want. For example “I want to remain strong and healthy” rather than “I don’t want to get sick” or “I want to show up and give it my all today” instead of “I don’t want to loose”. You want your inner voice to be one of gratitude, compassion and power.
Your self-esteem and therefore your confidence is directly proportionate to how much control you have over your own life. Once you realize you can be the master of your own fate and make these simple shifts in mindset you will experience true joy.
This is exactly the kind of work I do with sober women. We work one on one together using practical tools and clinical skills to develop the kind of confidence you want to pursue the desires of your heart and love your life in recovery. You can learn more at my website www.shelbyjohncoaching.com.
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