We All Have Choices

July 17. I have been focused and meditating on the concept of being my own coach. In fact, that’s what we are in our lives right? We are in the driver’s seat. Making the decision to do or not do.

But at least for me, for way to many years of my adulthood I have resisted this truth. Seems weird right. Resisting being in charge of my own life. Because it is.

As children growing up, so much of our lives are not in our control. We are born to parents in a country, and situation that we didn’t choose. Then we are bought random clothes to wear, put in a school, made to eat certain foods, hanging around certain selected people.

With age we start to have more choices but even still living in the protection of your family provides some sense of being controlled. We aren’t completely independent.

I launched from the adults who raised me and began to form my own life. Make my own decisions and earn money. I had to start parenting myself.

But addiction stunted my growth. It kept my brain in a child like state, preventing me from feeling as though I was in the driver’s seat of my own life. From coaching myself.

Therefore, always seeking outside advice and support for anything I did. And this continued long into sobriety.

So as a middle aged woman I still find areas where I am doing this. Particularly in starting my business, always looking or the next best strategy. The guru that has the right plan, the webinar to change everything, the coach, the course, the next shiny object.

I think we do this in a lot of areas of our lives and health is a huge one. How many times have you asked someone else who had lost the weight and changed their lives, “how did you do it”. We keep seeking the magic.

That doesn’t mean I don’t need help from others, support or advice, not at all. I do value that a lot. But it does mean that shifting from and I don’t know how to do this or I am looking for the best fit etc., to seeking my own internal wisdom, to parenting myself and then taking action on a thing immediately instead of getting lost in the feelings about it.

This defines any exercise in discipline right? From waking up right way without the snooze button, to choosing a healthy snack instead of the chocolate and to listening to your partner fully instead of interrupting with your own opinions before he has even gotten his words out.

We make choices everyday and more often then not they are based on feelings instead of actions.

Mel Robbins says, “You are so damn busy waiting to feel like it, and you’re never going to”. Rather as soon as the thought of a task or goal comes up, immediately take action on something that moves you towards that. Don’t hesitate, those seconds move you into the feelings and away from the action. We are never going to feel like it. Just do it.

So I went home, and made my morning smoothie.

XO,

Shelby