No Cake And Ice Cream For Me

July 16. Today is my birthday. Yup 46 years have past. And for the past 19 of them I have been sober. I shared a post on my Facebook page this am about this day almost two decades ago. I will paste it below in case you didn’t see it.

This is the beginning of day 4 of the #75HardChallenge and I am pretty fatigued. The soreness has set in which is of course normal I am asking my body to do a lot and I am also still detoxing from all the abuse I have done to my systems for the last couple of years. I can feel my gut healing though as I nourish it with live whole foods, tons of water and rest when I can.

I can feel God opening my eyes a little to some new things. I think it must be those barriers breaking down. I have had more than one coach, counselor, guru, marketing expert etc tell me that I am the problem. My limiting beliefs have created walls and once they are kicked down I will be catapulted into the 4^th dimension. I deny it publicly but my heart knows the truth. There are some but they remain a mystery.

The discovery process offers the opportunity to come alive in this way, to get honest and to push past he uncomfortable feelings. I think that’s why they say this particular challenge is a mental toughness one. It is. But also, when we clean up our bodies, our minds clear up.

The gut is the center of all health both mental and physical. And when our gut isn’t working properly and filled with good flora and bacteria the rest of our parts suffer. How does this happen. We fill it with food like substances, that are recognized by our bodies as foreign which actually causes an immune response. Not to mention the bodies constant work to remain in pH balance.

A reminder or myself that having all the knowledge doesn’t translate into action. I know exactly how the body functions and what it needs. Yet I turned my back on it and allowed my feelings to make decisions. Today, I am making the choice not to do that.

Here is what I wrote:

On this day 19 years ago I was sitting on a spacious patch of healthy green grass over looking the Susquehanna River.

In that moment, for the first time in a very long time, I got honest, and made the decision to surrender.

Not to my addiction, but to recovery.

Did I want to do this? No. Did I feel like it? No.

The sky didn’t open up, there wasn’t a burning bush or translucent angel.

But I was different. I heard things now. I took action.

Our feelings prevent us from doing many things in our lives.

That hesitation we have when a thought about doing something or a goal comes up is paralyzing.

I am grateful everyday that fear didn’t win that day.

Because fear is a liar.

What if you decided in that first moment of feeling to take action instead?

Instead of hitting the snooze button you got up.

As soon as the thought comes to clean your kitchen, don’t hesitate you just do it.

Your boss asked for ideas in a meeting and this time you don’t hesitate you raise your hand.

This isn’t hard. It feels hard. We tell ourselves it’s hard. But in reality the not doing it is way harder.

The consequences of that are more life altering.

Choose one thing today. One area where you are going to be courageous enough to do the small thing the moment it comes up.

To squash the feelings. Then rinse and repeat.

 

XO,

Shelby