September 5. Covid has been kicking my butt in a variety of ways, however I am grateful that is has been mostly manageable. I have a lingering cough and some fatigue, but I believe I am on the upswing. What isn’t on the upswing….my 75 Hard Challenge.
Last night I had a bit of a setback with a fever and fatigue. I muddled my way through some yoga and went to bed at 7:30. Without taking my progress picture.
I have worked so hard to stick with this program through covid, what a disappointment.
I won’t lie and say my thoughts were all pull up my bootstraps and carry on. Nope. My first thought was this is so stupid I’m never going to complete this thing. Just forget it.
I am definitely questioning whether or not to continue this thing.
It reminds me of the women I know who have struggled to get sober. They put together a few days or weeks and then life happens and they pick up again.
Or maybe they’ve been working a program and following directions but they just keep relapsing. They are frustrated, angry and filled with self doubt.
Because getting and staying sober is really hard. It requires a level of mental toughness that most people do not have, or at least aren’t willing to work for. And the 75 hard challenge isn’t much different. Well except for the life or death part.
I am not going to die or end up in jail because I didn’t take a progress photo. But the amount of mental energy and dedication is the same in order to achieve success.
I am allowing myself to sit with it, feel the feelings and carry on. I imagine I will start over again today (already took my photo) but part of my wants to gorge myself on chocolate chip cookies and sourdough bread before I do.
I probably won’t do that, but I want to.
For now I am lacing up my shoes and getting ready to go for a walk.