When It Comes To People, I Know Nothing

August 17. The concept of unity is stuck in my head. I won’t go off on another tangent but it truly is interesting in all of our circles most especially the addiction community.

How many times as people in recovery have you seen messages like “Addiction isn’t a disease, you have a choice”, “Stop using the medical model as a cop out and start doing the right thing”, “You will never recover”, etc.

And then there’s the conversations around California sober, medication assisted treatment, the use of psycho-pharmacologicals and twelve step programs. Ugh it’s exhausting even writing that sentence because I have been part of all of those conversations more than one time.

And the bottom line is, there really aren’t “right” answers, only what’s right for you. And frankly whatever works for you to stay sober AND live well beyond recovery. That is the most important thing.

Truly the only thing because without sobriety, there is nothing else, well except for handcuffs, courtrooms and hospitals.

So why is it that in the recovery community, a place filled with people who destroyed their lives, lost everything, got sober and became beautiful and productive people, there is so much division, sometimes even hate. I think its because there isn’t a niche without it.

Look around right now, you can find it everywhere you turn. Just say the word Covid and you will get some incredible divisive and strong opinions.

What do we do then? How do we as a people make the decision every day to show up in unity? To embrace difference in our singular community and offer compassion, grace and love?

For me it means considering the challenges of others when I don’t know a thing about them. It means remembering that much grace has been extended to me therefore so much should be given.

And come on, how hard is it really to be compassionate. How hard is it really to listen to others point of view, really listen, not with the intent of responding? Why is that we tend to assume we know all things.

I believe my knew stance honestly when it comes to people is, assume I know nothing. That feels more holistic and generates not only tolerance but acceptance of humanness.

So whether you are recovering using the twelve steps, or you HATE AA, or you choose to use medication to support your health in sobriety or you are 100% clean, instead of turning our nose up and making judgements or worse, social media posts, lets listen for understanding.

That’s not the same thing as agreement, but it does create unity.

XO,

Shelby