September 8th. Yesterday I stood in the driveway and waved to my girls as they drove off together in their own car to their first day of school.
This will be the last first day of school for my oldest and the second to last one for my second daughter. I was flooded with emotions of joy and pride just watching these two humans who have grown so much, changed so much over the last few years create another layer of independence.
It is striking to me at times when I look at them, thinking about the passing of time. The Facebook memories remind me of first days of school from many years past and is evidence of just how tiny and precious they were.
We have done it. We have raised these kids into almost adults.
People who have the same privileges and rights in our country that we do. Women who will build careers, friendships and families of their own someday.
My eyes welled up as they drove off not from sadness. And not really from happiness either just because of the change. The passage of precious minutes day by day that add up to be years of a life.
Its overwhelming. Like a tsunami coming over our little neighborhood and covering everything with water, so we are swimming around amongst the trees, and bushes and parked cars trying to find our way.
And when we finally reach the surface and take in the biggest breath we ever have before there is relief from the moving water. That gentle lull back and forth like the waves of an ocean. That’s the feeling now. I cant’ stop it, I wouldn’t though, this is how its supposed to go. But the ebb and flow of emotions will come and go like the tide as they continue to change right before our eyes.
Feelings aren’t facts. They are merely experiences that come and go in our minds and bodies much like the passage of wind in the trees. You know its there, you can see it and feel it and it passes.
They aren’t truths that guide our character development or moral code just fleeting, with varying strength at any given time.
I couldn’t be more proud of the little family we have built. The massive amount of time, energy and love we have poured into each of our kids and ourselves along the way. For that’s what it takes to train up children.
I pray that we are a blessing to many and those who know us can tell we were wonderfully and fearfully made.