I show sober women how to build the confidence they need to pursue their desires beyond recovery.
August 24th. It happened again. On Saturday I was out to breakfast with my husband after our lovely j-alk together. I ordered the shrimp salad because I don’t like breakfast food that much plus white flour is off limits in my program so the options are different.
It came with potato chips and this cute little plastic container of what appeared to be onion dip. Clever.
I enjoyed the salad and was munching on some chips with the dip and when I got halfway through I realized I was eating onion dip. And what is onion dip made with, sour cream. And what nutritional category does sour cream fit into? You guessed it dairy. And dairy is one of the three hard no’s on my program.
DH looked at me and asked if that meant I had to start over and I was like “No”.
I sat there justifying myself saying well I stopped once I realized, it was only a little bit, it was an accident. Have I not learned anything over the past thirty nine days? There are no exceptions on this program. There are no mistakes. It’s literally only perfection.
The details matter and I am responsible for know what I am eating.
I was so sad and yesterday I was still struggling with it all trying to force my way though making it ok, when I knew without a doubt this was most certainly not ok. I even posted it in the group which I knew better and not only got slammed or justifying but also for eating potato chips which are apparently junk food and banned.
But they aren’t against any of my diet rules.
This is supposed to be hard.
That’s why the word hard is literally in the name of the challenge. It is a mental toughness game that requires the most intention I have ever had in my life. The most awareness.
Today is day three for the third time. Here’s hoping I can complete this thing!