I show sober women how to build the confidence they need to pursue their desires beyond recovery.
We have been waiting for this moment for over a year. The mask mandates have been lifted and we are EXCITED!
Don’t come at me please, however you feel about it is valid and I accept and appreciate that. I love you all!
So naturally I went shopping…maskless.
For me it was glorious, and at the same time felt a little naughty.
At the register I was standing to the side by my cart as she filled it.
The lovely young 15 year old ringing me up politely asked if I could move behind the plexiglass because I wasn’t wearing a mask.
Immediately I shuffled over behind the protection as I was asked.
I didn’t think anything of it. Of course I can.
She broke the moments of silence by saying “Thank you for not yelling at me because I asked you to move over, my mom has cancer”.
I was shocked first of all that she assumed I would yell at her, second that she felt the need to apologize for that (why do women also feel the need to apologize for themselves) and third that her mom had cancer.
I said “You don’t have to explain yourself. You politely asked for something and you have a right to do that”.
What she said next sadly didn’t surprise me at all.
“You wouldn’t believe how many people have yelled at me today for asking them to stay behind the shield. Thank you for not yelling at me”.
I assured her I wasn’t going to yell at her.
Why are people so quick to unleash their fury on strangers in whatever role they are playing at that moment because they don’t like something?
Is this really what humanity has come to expect?
I replayed this scenario in my head several times and shared the story with a few friends this past week because I just felt sad about it.
Sad that people feel they have to apologize for standing for something.
Sad that so many won’t speak up for themselves because of the fear of being yelled at.
Sad that this is how humans interact now. No consideration for what others are saying, no respect for their views or feelings.
It made me think about my spiritual program. And how important that is to my well being EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Because we all have our moments right. Those times we aren’t ourselves.
And if that day while I was out shopping and I hadn’t done my daily routines and meditation, if I was tired, hungry, disconnected from my purpose or just plain grouchy maybe I would have reacted differently.
Maintaining good emotional and spiritual fitness is a daily requirement for living well in sobriety.
I don’t have the luxury of unresolved anger, resentment or bitterness, those are the things that cause discord in relationships and even relapse.
Finding a way to connect with the big energy outside yourself is a must.
Whether you choose to call that energy God, spirit, universe, nature, the group or something else, as sober women connection is a requirement.
A few ways to maintain good spiritual fitness:
1. Think positively. Negative thought patterns bring you down and rob you of any opportunity for personal growth and confidence.
2. Practice consistently. Whatever your choice for building a spiritual connection whether its yoga, meditation, prayer etc. it takes regular practice to get more comfortable and see change.
3. Be around encouraging people. Be sure to surround yourself with like minded women who have similar values and strive to maintain a positive lifestyle. We tend to mimic the ways of those around us.
4. Intentionally resist temptation. When we fall prey to the temptations that go against our core values we suffer. Consider every action and decision through the lens of your moral code.
5. Use your creativity. This doesn’t necessarily mean art either. It could be gardening, decorating your home, putting together different outfits or cooking. Find ways to express yourself and build a deeper relationship with the spirit around you.